I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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