UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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