Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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