im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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