So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
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