so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
