Quick, to the slutcave!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
