I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
