Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
