I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
