Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
