I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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