Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
