I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
