It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize