Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Operation Purity has been aborted
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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