Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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