we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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