my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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