You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
