that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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