hotel room ftw
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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