They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
