TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
