Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
