I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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