you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
