my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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