? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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