I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
