(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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