guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
