if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
