i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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