can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
and you fell through a lawn chair
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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