Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
