Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
