I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
