My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
