im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
