She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She even gives head with a lisp.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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