we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
