omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
