$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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