so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
