i think my mom watched the whole time
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize