david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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