just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
