Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
