im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
