You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
