Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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