Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I cut my penus on the lid.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
