I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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