Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
