I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
