chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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