No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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