If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
