Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
