I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
