my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just want to make out with him forever
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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