i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
