My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
What a dumb baby whore.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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