I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
where am i from again
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
