Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm getting married
To pizza
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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