i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
