So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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