just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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