I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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