hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
