He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize